“31 But eagerly desire the greater gifts. And now I will show you the most excellent way. 1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing. 4 Love is patient. Love is kind. it does not envy. It does not boast. It is not proud. 5 It is not rude. It is not self-seeking. It is not easily angered. It keeps no record of wrongs.”
Ladies and gentlemen, Andre Williams. Now let’s say that Andre and I are having coffee together and unbeknownst to him he says something that offends me. I keep a record of it. I write, ‘he hurt my feelings,’ on this post-it note and put it on Andre. Whenever I see Andre, I see that post-it note. Let’s say I invite Andre to a get together. Now he’s already busy, but I take his inability to come as a personal rejection. I write, ‘he rejected me,’ on this post-it note and put it on Andre. Now let’s say Andre legitimately sins against me. I write that sin on this post-it note and put it on Andre. I write the feelings that go along with that sin on post-it notes and put them on Andre. At this point, I begin to think the worst about Andre and I’m interpreting everything he says and does through the worst possible lens and I put those interpretations on post-it notes and put them on Andre.
Now who is responsible for these post-it notes? Andre isn’t. I wrote the post-it notes. I put the post-it notes on Andre. I choose to look at them. I am responsible.
Now nobody here thinks these post-it notes have anything to do with love and yet please ask yourself how many post-it notes have you placed on others? How many post-it notes do you fear have been placed on you? What sort of records are being kept in this congregation? What sort of records are you keeping at school? What sort of records are you keeping in your family?
Love does not keep such records. Love, in fact, is quite unskilled at keeping such records. It is much better at forgiving than it is at record keeping. That is the claim of this sermon: love is much better at forgiving than it is at record keeping.
We will study this aspect of love in two points. First: the danger of record keeping. Second: love graces others in its presence. First, we will recognize the danger of record keeping. Second, we will consider how love loves to extend grace.
First: the danger of record keeping. What I just did to Andre is remarkably common. I’ve done it. You’ve done it. We are quick to label others in terms of wrongs they have done to us. We give bewildering amounts of attention to anyone or anything that wrongs us. One calculation put it perfectly, “if you have $86,400 and someone stole $60, would you throw away $86,340 for revenge or move on and live? Each of us has 86,400 seconds everyday Don’t let someone’s negative sixty seconds ruin the remaining 86,340.”
I imagine that resonates with you. It resonates with you because you have wasted those 86,340 seconds on many a day. You have kept records of wrong and so have I.
Paul told the Corinthians that love does not keep records of wrong. Now Paul was definitely referring to sin, but he was most likely also referring to hurts that are not sinful. Perhaps a friend didn’t back you on some project that was dear to you at work. That is no sin; yet you might keep a record of that as a wrong done to you.
We know a bit about what wrongs might have been recorded within the Corinthian congregation. They were divided into group along the lines of leaders. There was a Paul group and an Apollos group and a Peter group. There was also a group that tried to seize the moral high ground by thinking of themselves as the Christ group. These groups could have easily been keeping score with each other. The Paul group might have labelled the Peter group as Judaizers who were trying to drag them back into the Old Covenant. The Peter group might have labeled the Paul group as lawless and irreligious. They may have been pitting these apostles against each other in order to promote their own interests. It wouldn’t be the last time people pitted one pastor against another to the pain of the church. Each group nursed the wrongs done against them into grudges and the church was divided.
There were doubtlessly records of wrongs kept in regard to what is and what is not required of a Christian. We know that some Corinthians tried to impose unnecessary requirements on others. In order to be a good church member, some Corinthians thought you needed to avoid food that was sacrificed to idols. Such impositions doubtlessly led to a sense that records of wrongs were being kept.
Then there were the worship wars in Corinth. Paul spent two chapters teaching the Corinthians about worship because there were factions fighting with each other over proper worship. Each side was probably quite quick to interpret anything against their preferences as a wrong done to them.
To all of this, Paul calls the Corinthians to their senses saying, in essence, ‘hold on. This is a Spirit-filled community and the hallmark of the Spirit is love. What would love look like in this situation? It wouldn’t look like labelling. It wouldn’t look like keeping records of wrong.’
Perhaps that is a word for you this morning. Perhaps you have been labelling people within this congregation. Perhaps you have been keeping a tally of those who have slighted you in any way, shape, or form. Perhaps it is to the point that some of the image bearers of God sitting in this sanctuary with you are nothing but walking post-it notes in your mind. You need to hear that, that is not love. Love does not keep “a private file of personal grievances that can be consulted and nursed whenever there is possibility of some new slight,” as DA Carson put it.
Imagine what it would be like to come to worship with no grievances. Imagine what it would be like to come to worhsip keeping no record of wrongs. If it sounds liberating, far-fetched, or impossible, please recognize that you are keeping a record of wrongs.
It is possible that you have kept so many records of wrongs that you are becoming bitter. In a short work on bitterness, Lou Priolo warns against its many dangers. He says that bitterness manifests itself in withdrawal and avoidance. Are you avoiding anyone with in this congregation? Have you withdrawn yourself from the life of this church? Priolo says that bitterness not only causes conflicts but also causes an inability to resolve those conflicts. Do you find yourself in family conflicts in which you see no way forward? Is it possible that your family situation seems like a dead end because bitterness has crept in to your heart? Priolo goes on to say that bitterness may manifest itself in outbursts of anger, sarcasm, snide remarks, faultfinding, suspicion, impatience, disrespect, a lack of friends, guilt, shame, depression, lack of assurance of salvation, and lack of fruitfulness in your Christian life.
The bitter man is a miserable man. He is miserable because he keeps records of wrong. “In business [the practice of keeping records for reference] is necessary,” said John MacArthur, “but in personal matters it is not only unnecessary but also harmful. Keeping track of things done against us is a sure way to unhappiness—our own and those on whom we keep records.”
Now I imagine that someone here in a bit of a quandary right now. You don’t want to be bitter. You would rather not keep records, but you honestly don’t know how to stop. The minute you try to stop, you think about how you’ve been wronged. It is as if your life wouldn’t make sense if you didn’t keep records of wrongs.
Please ask yourself if you are looking to be treated perfectly before you believe in this 1 Corinthians love. Ask yourself if you are looking to be treated as you feel you deserve before you put yourself in God’s hands because that is where love is to be found.
There is nothing fanciful or dreamy about 1 Corinthians 13. This is life. Love is long-suffering because that is what is required to lean in towards fallen people in a fallen world. Love is a call to kindness because each of us is so very prone to unkindness. 1 Corinthians 13 is not fanciful. It is not dreamy. It is needed. This is the description of the love that we want in our families. This is the description of the love that we want in our church. For this to be the case, we need the Holy Spirit.
Church is impossible without the power of the Spirit. Now if you hear that and think to yourself, “well any number of people here must not have the Spirit then,” recognize that you are not processing this sermon in love. You are thinking that thought because you are not currently keeping verse 5, “love keeps no record of wrongs.” What you need is a fuller measure of the power of the Spirit. That is what we all need because each of us will fail any number of this chapter’s descriptions of love. What is most necessary for Inwood CRC is the power of the Holy Spirit.
Now perhaps someone here doesn’t have the power of the Spirit at all. It is possible that you have has been record keeping your whole life because you’ve never had your record forgiven by God. If you have the sense that I might be talking about you, I want you to know how you can have your record forgiven. You have your record forgiven by coming to God. Now you may not want to come to Him because you see Him as the record keeper. That is true, but He is also the record canceler. ‘“Come now, let us settle the matter,” says the Lord. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool.”’ Your record is wiped clean by the blood of Christ. In the cross you see that God is far more willing to forgive than you could have ever dared to dream. If you recognize that you haven’t had this cleansing, if you recognize that you don’t have the power of the Spirit, come to Jesus. If you are willing to talk with me about it, please don’t be afraid to do so. That is what I am here for.
As you live in God’s grace, you are changed so that you are able to be a connection point of God’s grace to others. We see that in our second point: love graces others in its presence.
Love doesn’t keep records of wrongs; rather, love graces others in its presence. Now, you want to experience grace. You want to be graced in the presence of others. So do other people and you are privileged to extend grace to others. I hope that you want to extend God’s grace to others, but perhaps you don’t know how. You find yourself so quick to label others with post-it notes. You find yourself so quick to keep records of wrongs. What can you do?
We’ve already seen the necessity of the power of the Spirit, so we move on to the justice of God. For you to love others without keeping records, which is, of course, the only way to love, you need to be mindful of the justice of God.
The only reason that you can keep no record of wrongs is that God does keep records of sin committed against you. In other words, God is just. One of the reasons that you find it so very hard to love when you find yourself wronged is that you want this wrong righted. You want justice and you have the sense that if you keep no record of wrongs there will be no justice. That is not the case. ‘Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. On the contrary: “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.”’
You can keep no record of wrongs because God does keep such records. He calls souls to repent of the sin they have committed against you. He holds them responsible. He woos them towards repentance. He walks them step by step towards transformation. It might not be at the pace or in the way that you would like but you aren’t the overseer of this other person’s soul. He calls them to repentance for their wrongdoing just as He calls you to repentance for your wrongdoing. He journeys with your offender step by step just as He journeys with you step by step.
In order to keep no record of wrongs, you must grasp the justice of God. You must also grasp the mercy of God. You are called to keep no records of wrongs because, if you have come under grace, God has kept no record of your wrongs. You must love others with the love that you’ve received or, rather, you must love others with the tiniest fraction of the love you’ve received.
Jesus told a parable about a servant who owed his king roughly a million dollars. The servant could never repay such a debt. If that servant demanded justice, he would be imprisoned. Instead he received mercy; the king forgave the debt. Now there was a fellow servant who owed that servant the equivalent of $137. Now the servant demanded justice. He demanded his fellow servant repay the debt. The king called him back into his throne room and said, “I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?”
If you have having trouble forgiving the $137 debt of someone in your life, remember that you’ve been forgiven a million-dollar debt. Perhaps you are thinking, ‘but I confessed my sin to God. My offender hasn’t confessed to me.’ Well, first remember that you only confessed your sinfulness to God because He worked within you so that you could and would confess it. Being a recipient of God’s mercy by way of confession is no great accomplishment on any of our parts. Second, recognize that you received the offer of forgiveness from God before you confessed and so you must offer forgiveness from your heart even before you receive a confession and even if you never hear a confession of wrongdoing. God has been merciful with you so that you can be merciful with others.
In order to keep no record of wrongs, you must grasp that God is just. In order to keep no record of wrongs, you must grasp that God is merciful. In order to keep no record of wrongs, you must refuse to keep such records. Now that sounds obvious, but what I am trying to make clear is that forgiveness is a choice that you need to keep making. Your flesh will want to resurrect your grudge. You must reckon this grudge as dead because that is how God reckons your sins.
You reckon a grudge as dead by refusing to hold the wrong against your offender. You do so by treating her the way 1 Corinthians prescribes. You are long-suffering with her. You are kind to her. You are not rude to her. You are not easily angered by her. You don’t delight in thinking evil about her.
Now in certain circumstances it is necessary to make relationship changes while still refusing to keep a record of wrongs. If your friend gossips your confidential information all over town, you can refuse to keep a record of that wrong against her while not entrusting your secrets to her. A wife in an abusive marriage can still separate from her husband in hopes of reconciliation while forgiving him. The importance in such circumstances, as always, lies in the condition of the heart. Most of the wrongs that we record against each other, however, require no relational changes other than our ripping the post-it note off the person we have labelled and subsequently treating them as we would like to be treated.
I want you to consider the wrongs you have recorded against others within this congregation. I want you to consider the wrongs you have recorded against others in your family. I want you to consider the wrongs you have recorded against people in this community. I want you to consider the wrongs you have recorded against people in your past. Now I want you to consider the wrong done to Brandt Jean by Amber Guyer. Guyer was a police officer in Dallas, Texas. After a long shift, she returned to her apartment, or rather what she thought was her apartment. She had gone to the wrong floor of her apartment building. When she opened what she thought was her apartment, she found a man inside. The man was Botham Jean. She thought he was a burglar and shot the accountant dead as he ate his ice cream. Botham Jean was the brother of Brandt Jean. I think we can fairly say that Amber Guyer did wrong not only to Botham Jean in killing him but also to Brandt Jean by killing his brother. At her sentencing, Brandt Jean asked to speak to Guyer. Please play the video.
Love graces others in its presence by keeping no record of wrongs. You saw the effect that no record of wrongs had upon Amber Guyer. She broke into tears when she experienced grace. She broke into tears because she experienced no record of wrongs.
You saw the effect that no record of wrongs had upon Brandt Jean. He was able to love. He wasn’t enslaved by a grudge. He isn’t living his life consumed by the wrong done to him. He isn’t living a life consumed by bitterness.
If you are still nursing a grudge, I ask you: was the wrong done to you greater than the wrong done to Brandt Jean? If not, why won’t you forgive? Ask yourself what you gain from holding on to this grudge. You must be gaining something otherwise you would have dropped it long ago. Ask God to show you what you think you are gaining because that is what you will need to learn how to release.
Imagine a world in which we all forgave like Brandt Jean. Imagine a world in which we all forgave like Jesus. You are imagining the world that God wants. You are imagining a world with no record keeping. You are imagining a world of love and I hope that you are entering into that world because that is what the kingdom of God is like. Amen.
Love graces others in its presence by keeping no record of wrongs. You saw the effect that no record of wrongs had upon Amber Guyer. She broke into tears in the experience of grace. She broke into tears because she experienced love.
You saw the effect that no record of wrongs had upon Brandt Jean. He was able to love. He wasn’t enslaved by a grudge. He isn’t living his life consumed by the wrong done to him. He isn’t living a life consumed by bitterness.
If you are nursing a grudge, I ask you: was the wrong done to you greater than the wrong done to Brandt Jean? If not, why won’t you forgive? Ask yourself what you gain from holding on to this grudge. You must be gaining something otherwise you would have dropped it long ago. Ask God to show you what you think you are gaining because that is what you will need to learn how to release.
Imagine a world in which we all forgave like Brandt Jean. Imagine a world in which we all forgave like Jesus. You are imagining the world that God wants. You are imagining a world with no record keeping. You are imagining a world of love and I hope that you are entering into it because that is what the kingdom of God is like. Amen.